Don’t Negotiate with Yourself: Eliminate Your Internal Conflict During Negotiations

Negotiation can be a tricky process. You may assume that if you are armed with all the right information, money, and bargaining power, you could certainly land a favorable deal. The reality, however, is that we often lose deals not because of power or money, but because we are negotiating against ourselves. Human beings have a tendency to try and rationalize all of our decisions and actions. We doubt ourselves when we need to be confident. We avoid making a decision because we worry it’s the wrong one. Doubts and indecisiveness can wreak havoc on our ability to negotiate, not to mention that it can be mentally exhausting. To create a more balanced discussion and manage your negotiations successfully, consider implementing the following strategies. 

Take an Assertive Approach

See yourself as a leader and approach a negotiation with that mindset. If you don’t see yourself as a leader, you will always feel insecure about your decisions. Do adequate research and arm yourself with information beforehand, and then approach the negotiation with confidence, knowing you are well prepared. Remind yourself that you are capable of making important decisions and keep that assertive attitude throughout the negotiation. 

Make a List of Concessions

You can eliminate a lot of that second guessing by preparing your concessions ahead of time. Make a list of concessions and list them in order of importance. This will help you develop a strategy when it comes time to concede. You can spend as much time as you need putting thought into this ahead of time. That way, you won’t feel pressured on the spot and whatever you do concede, you will know it was well thought out and planned. 

Commit to Your Decisions

When you make a decision, stick with it. Don’t flounder around and begin second-guessing your decisions. You will only confuse yourself and add stress to the situation. Once you have agreed to something, move forward, knowing you made an educated decision. 


Do Your Homework

Finally, you want to do as much homework ahead of time as possible. Get to know as much as you can about the other party, what is most important to them, and what pain points they may have. Also, consider your own bargaining power, what your needs are, and how you can mutually reach those goals. The more planning and research you do in advance, the more confident you will feel when it comes time to negotiate and this will help you avoid second-guessing yourself and wrestling with yourself internally.